Always Quick to Follow…Not.

Ok, time for a normal blogpost, none of this emo lovesick crap. I want this post to be raving rambles and mysterious musings. or just a lot of blah blah blah on my part.

College is… better. All assignments submitted on time so far, but today is where it ends; Computer Graphics. Illustrator just hates me. It does. Either that or it got into a fight with my windows and decided to give the cold shoulder. Bottom line is I won’t be able to finish up my illustrator work, which is due at 530pm today.

So yes. I am screwed.

But I guess it’s not all bad. I mean, I actually did pretty good for myself; I survived 3 months of college without slacking off. That’s good right? In high school, I’d usually just stop caring around the third week. I’ve done well for myself this time around. SYABAS.

I have to say thanks to Kate, Rathika and Fatima though. I mean, if it wasn’t for them, I would probably slump into my autopilot mode and lose interest in everything to do with college and studying and grades. They’ve made college life extremely fun. And I think it’s because of them that there are some classes I am almost looking forward to now.

*gasp*

omgdidBelindaHonreallyjustsaythat?!

Yes, I just did. Refined, I am. Not quite, but a pretty changed person in some areas. Its all a very good thing :) Ok time to end this post: URBANSCAPES IS HAPPENING TOMORROW.

I am happy because I’ll have time for...well, stuff. *inserts cheeky wink and mischievous smile which in actual fact I do not have*

Sighs.

Life’s good.                                                                            

if only you knew.

You make me happy;

You make all the pain fade away.

I love you for that.

You want me to stop feeling down? Just talk to me more often; I can’t help but smile whenever I read your text or hear your voice. You give me something to smile about.

A jumble of jarring lyrics from songs that echo how I feel.

My Mantra.

I was so unique; now I feel skin deep. She cried on my shoulder begging please. And I can’t take no more; her tears like diamonds on the floor. We both know that I’m not that strong. With or without you. Something always brings me back to you. This heart, it beats, beats for only you; my heart is yours. And every line in every song, they all seem to come out wrong until your song. No you won't disarm my heart.myashtrayheart. Every now and then I fall apart. I can’t stop thinking about you.I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine. There goes my hero. Sing to me lies, let them linger. Because these words were never easier for me to say, or her to second guess. I'll follow you into the dark. Here, here and here. God, that was strange to see you again. I don’t know who you are anymore. You were the only face I'd ever known. I just want one more chance to put my arms in fragile hands. We lay, we lay together just not too close, too close. And everybody’s talking how I can’t, can’t be your love. We’ve still got time. I'll never ask for anyone but you. And I could call you babydoll all the time. You’re onto me, all over me. I can honestly say that I never, ever, ever felt this way.

The dream is dead?

So I was right; the feeling is not mutual. I suppose I am just the good friend.

It’s not a bad thing. But it’s not what I really wanted anyhoos.

I’m not surprised, but I do wish I was a little more confident when I told you I kinda liked you and I wish I was clear when I meant that I wanted to see where this thing could go. Though technically there was never a thing to start with.

I knew all this already, but I still hoped. I guess optimism can sometimes really blind a person and cloud their better judgment.

She needs to grow up and I need to buck up.

I don’t think its the end, who knows what may change. But for now, I shall hibernate my feelings for you.

stay and watch the stars come out.

And there you go again, spinning circles around my already frazzled little head. Is this entertaining? Forgive me for not joining in the laughter; I’m too busy going back and forth with you to focus on anything else.

I love time, but for this moment it is against me. It has tick-tocked it’s way to the end and I have to say goodbye now. Do not try to rope me in again; it won’t work. I mean it will, but I don’t want it to work. It is time I took a step forward, instead of hitting the replay button over and over again. Take a step to getting closer to you.

Remember me. I wonder if you will remember me. I hope you will.

You Should Know Why I Reposted This.

Showpeople

It's a matinee of sorts
Playing out less like life
Showing good reports
Pretty with little strife.

There is the alpha male
And the ubiquitous good wife
And the oddball complaining
Petty piping with a fife.

He struts she struts they strut
Keening in their own pride
Obliging their stereotypes somewhat
Peddling loud insinuations so snide.

Is it so hard to follow the script
When all you require is done
And you walk it through with wit
Passionate without an ounce of fun.

All collapse as the stage goes black
A curtain falling on their throes
A single actor grasping at the light
Dead, till the next daily show.

 

Stolen from Tarrant Kwok because I follow his blog, almost religiously.

And because I think his writing is the shiznits.

babe.

NO,

THiS IS NOT YOUR

PLAYGROUND.

THIS IS WAS MY HEART.

 

Adapted from Coheed and Cambria’s Here We Are, Juggernaut.

Not knowing what to call this post.

If this Mass Comm thingy doesn’t work out for me in the end, I going to become a professional floor painter. No, I’m dead serious.

Ok, obviously, I’m not dead serious lah. But after yesterday, I feel like I’ve got enough experience to make painting wide canvases an occupation. And I think being around so much paint does things to you. Makes you very…loose.

Anyways, I’m really to tired to be bothered with anything right now. I might as well not pass up my CG assignment; I’ve gotten NOWHERE with it. I just… maybe it has to do with the fact that I suck at illustrator. When I say suck, I mean really badly.

O, woe is me. *I so very the drama lah.*

I’m going to miss all the crazies from this year’s T4YP. Probably won’t be doing any other shows with them this year, except for Sweatshop. After this Sunday, I go back to being a somewhat normal college kid again. How I detest that word.

Oh, Joel and I got into a very heated debate during MassComm class. I got really mad because most of his rebuttals were off topic. He was nitpicking but Joel being Joel, obviously continued with his own stride :p I kept looking at Kate and Miss Jo for the strength to not explode. But whatever, the past is the past and I at least stayed on track lah.

*Disclaimer: I’m not bitching about Joel. I think both of us can vouch for the fact that the debate got WAY out of hand. Next time there’s a class debate, the rules better be laid out so that people don’t go about on their own jolly whims. Or people like Joel and I are gonna get offensive kaw kaw.

I am so on a roll.

New improvements galore! rawr. Say hi to the new template. Be nice to it, please.

I’m wanting to revamp this blog. really. I don’t want it to die again. Yeah, perhaps at first this blog was just a product of peer pressure and trends, but hell I’ve actually really come to like it all. And I know I probably have just a handful of readers, but hey I think a blog shouldn’t be judged just by that. pffffffft. that’s so high school. urggh.

Anyway, that’s all I have to ramble about for now. I am so damned tired. I’m gonna have post production syndrome after this play wraps, but I’m looking forward to spending more time sleeping. And hanging out with Joyee Khoo again. I miss her so much. Someone got boyfriend already some more!

Also, I’ll have more time to bitch about Agnus, Pam, Junior, Michael, Ed and Edie with my gang of misfits. I’m loving those buggers more and more. Source of sooooooooo many good laughs! :)

As for my little crush: well let’s just say I’m past the repair phase but not completely healed yet. Time will do it’s thang and eventually all will be well. But for now, bring on the eye candy and long heart-to-heart bitching sessions! <3

YAY-ness!

The chatbox has arrived. wheeeeee!

Am currently in the PC lab.
I forgot about the collage we had to do.

I'm soooo dead.