A Broken Down Car

after a months hiatus, i am back.
at the same time, i am not.
though i feel very sad i've been
neglecting my beloved blog,
i don't miss posting that much.

i've been very busy rehearsing.
most of my time is spent in Studio 7,
at Aunty Ann's house, on my bed
or in front of my laptop.

no, currently i have no social life.
i thank my low self-restraint and my dad for that.
also my lack stealthiness.

Flashback:
about a week ago
Aze and Sacha came over to celebrate
sacha's Sweet sixteen.
it was nice finally being a trio again.
since aze was transferred to that other school,
we hadn't had much time to catch up.
that has so far been my highlight of the month.
its worthy though. =)

Nicky's Birthday is tomorrow.
i haven't gotten him a gift
since i basically am very very very broke.
i have to survive on less than rm30
till the end of november. thats how bad it is.
anyhoos, we're having this BBQ party
so its going to be kinda big i think.
i'm not gonna invite anyone since Joey can't make it.
i dont look forward to it
though i pretend to infront of others.

i haven't confided much in joey either.
my thoughts have been just all over the place.
which is why i've seemed jolly recently.
i'd rather people think i'm happy
than ask me whats wrong.
its just one of those feelings that you dont
feel like sharing the details with anyone else.
like a cancer you hide until you're sure that its terminal.

i guess its because pretending is so much easier than
admitting to the world (and to yourself) what's really going on.