C’mon galaxy; is that all you’ve got?
I will persevere through all the guilt and mixed emotions I’m having now. Things are best this way perhaps? I’ve already exhausted my mind, body and soul and I’m afraid now, that I finally have your answer, I am numbed.
I expected this. I mean, after all, friendship should stay that way. I wasn’t expecting to be accepted and to be honest maybe I’m semi-glad it panned out this way. I knew I was in trouble the minute I started waiting for your replies and storing your messages. I should have backed down, but I didn’t because I guess I liked the feeling of liking you. And you were, and are, just so good to me.
It was selfish. I mean, I kinda jeopardized our friendship. It was selfish of me, especially since you had confided in me so much. I became biased and perhaps I should have told you wayyyy earlier that I was harboring feelings for you. I didn’t because at the time, I didn’t think it would grow to such a degree. And I thought that time would be on our side, and that the right moment will come along just fine in the end.
STUPID, STUPID ME.
I’m taking the news well I suppose. Nothing at all what I expected; waterworks, screaming and maybe a couple of broken mirrors? But there’s none of that. I’m numb to the dramatics of what rejection usually looks like. It’s…strange.
At this point, I’m feeling relieved. I regret not handling this better, but overall, I feel at an amazing ease. It’s like; Yes, now I can continue moving forward that kinda thing?
I just hope we can get rid of all this awkwardness. We’ll know soon, but I hope we can go back to the way we’ve been. Truly, I am sorry I made such a mess of a good thing. And I’m equally sorry that you had to find out this way. *fistbump*
*Closes the book and locks away heart till next foolish endeavor*
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