This is not my reality.

Disclaimer : The following is complete bollocks, not some emo venting on my part. I just felt like writing and this is what came out of it.

Turn around and just run, run, run. Run till you’re out of breath and till every muscle hurts, till you tear at every tissue. Run till your head spins and you can’t remember the last time he held your hand. Run till you feel the ringing in your ears drown out the million times he whispered words against your neck. Run till you forget everything but the feeling of your own heart beating strongly against your chest, reminding you that you live for you and not anyone else.

Run till the sun sets again and again because if you stop too soon, he’ll catch up to you and then he’ll have you. And that is what will hurt the most. He’ll have you easy, and you’ll realise that no matter how fast your muscles work, no matter how big the strides you take, you will never be able to save yourself. And he’ll realise it too.

So if I were you, I would keep running. You’ve only got one chance. You’re almost home free, all you need to do is continue running. Sweat out the memories. Sweat out the pain. Keep running till you reach that breaking point. Run till you pass that breaking point by a mile. Run till you break all expectations. Run till you don’t know where you are anymore. Run till you are completely clear of every trace of him.

I’m so close. I’m almost there. But the problem is my feet refuse to budge. He’s got a hold on me. No, no he doesn’t. I can outrun him. I’ve already gotten so far. I just need to push a bit more.

But I can’t.

I can’t anymore. I can outrun him and all the memories, but I can’t outrun myself. All this running is fucking pointless because for whatever unexplainable reason it is, there’s a part of me that just won’t let go.

Something always brings me back.

Oh, it feels so good to write freely again.