It really super sucks when you do that.

Let’s say someone you cared about was in a coma. Throughout that time, you took care of him and tried your very best to get him back to who he was before. Now, how would you feel if said person came out of the coma and you weren’t the first person to know? And not only that, but let’s say the first person he went to was someone he isn’t that close to (in comparison). Wouldn’t that be a slap to the face? If no, then maybe its just me.

I’m just kinda hurt. I don’t even know why ‘cause its naive and childish and stupid to be hurt by something like this. It is. I mean I’ve been feeling so shits about it, and then when things got better it’s like I wasn’t needed anymore. But that’s the way things are. Its normal. People don’t always put you first, it’s like rule number one of growing up. You will not always be on someone’s mind and you will never be the center of someone’s attention 24 hours a friggin’ day. Grow up already!

I don’t feel used, I just feel really stupid. And no, this has nothing to do with a real coma. I just wished you put me a little higher in your list of VIPs.

Oh yeah Belinda, this is not pathetic at all.

Ps: I hope the third party in this scenario reads this and notes that I really don’t blame him/her. I just got kinda sad but it’s not your fault.

You take the breath right out of me.

Okay, I’ve been trying to get my mind off things but I can’t. After being reminded yesterday and earlier today of how I really feel, it’s like I can’t pretend anymore. I try to distract myself from what I really feel because I’ve kinda set it in my mind that nothing will happen between you and I anytime soon. You just don’t see me that way and there’s really a part of me that’s just given up on us chasing you. Call me weak; there might be some truth in that.

I see relationships that last less or just a little over a month and I usually think “You guys didn’t even try”. I know I’ve had my share of relationships that failed a little too soon for my liking, but I fought for those. It’s just that they (my ex’s) never fought with me. Or at least that’s how I see it. And that is kinda like what I’m feeling now. It’s been awhile since this fight started and till today, in the pit of my stomach, I believe there hasn’t been a concrete moment when you fought for me. I would be lying if I said I feel less for you because of this; it’s just who you are and I can’t blame you. I can’t force you to fight as hard for me, especially since you probably don’t even feel the need to.

The thing is, you can only love so much and fight for such a time. And I really feel that my time is running out. I mean, I enjoy spending time with you and all that, but nothing is reciprocated and I don’t want to have to continue hiding my affection for you. It is abundant and holding it all in and pretending to not care when other girls make passes at you is torture.

I’ve been finding ways to forestall openly admitting that I’ve lost this fight. I’ve been cheating myself into believing that I’ve moved on from you by talking to boys and getting myself worked up about them. I mean, really, they don’t mean anything. Distractions; that’s all they are. Friends and of course, I enjoy their company. But when
I go to sleep at night, I always just wonder where you are and if you are well and if, to some extent, you miss me too. When I hear a love song on the radio, I don’t think of those other boys; I think of you and how I wish it were relevant to us both.

This is becoming a rather pathetic post. I’m friggin’ pining.

The thought of completely giving up on you is too scary. I don’t think I can actually do it. But I have to let go or I am going to constantly be torn between the part of me that’s surrendered and the part of me that’s still fighting. It’s exhausting.

You are still a big part of me. But the idea of “us” actually happening is something I am looking forward to forgetting. Maybe five years from now, before I move away or you get married or something completely tears us apart, I’ll finally have the guts to tell you that all my posts have been about you. And maybe then, you’ll read through all these words and begin to comprehend how much I wanted to continue fighting for you. And maybe then, maybe then you’ll start trying to win me back. That’s all I am hoping for and I really hope it does come true. One day. ‘Cause now unfortunately I feel that my grip is slipping and steadily I’m losing this fight. I hope in time you’ll fight back for me too.

Ugh, I wish my heart was still intact. I think I need to shed some tears. Not tonight, it’s already been too taxing. Maybe by the end of this week. That would be ideal.

And I know I’ve overused these lyrics so many times on this blog, but really, these lyrics depict exactly what’s going on in my head right now:

I don’t know why I fight for you this way.

I think I love you and wish you loved me too.

</3

BRB

I have a post that is yet to be published. It’s all done and I’m less emotional weighed down now. But I haven’t thought of a suitable title. Until I find that title, it shall remain in the draft box.

Maybe later tonight then.

DISCLAIMER: That post contains emo-ness, apathy, self-indulgence and heartbreak.

Gah. So saddening.

Gluek & Gluek

I have been so super tired and busy and sleep deprived recently. But it’s weird because I actually really feel alive right now. I feel like I’m actually living and not just going through the motions pointlessly. It’s a good feeling.

Anyway, I need to confess now. I did something really, REALLY bad. I’m a third striker now and I probably should have walked away when I had the chance. But I didn’t and why; because I wasn’t thinking straight and I felt selfish. I am very outspoken about how I’m against things like that and yet I just did it. Such a hypocrite.

While I know what I did was wrong on a billion levels, it’s not eating its way through me anymore. I mean, no point crying over spilt milk and all that, right? It happened, I regret it and promise to stay away from such things from now. What’s done is done; move the fuck on.

Oh, that felt good. I’m doing a lot of emotional dumping on this blog. Maybe I should get back to rambling.

So here’s a short list of randomness:

1. I got a friggin 3.31 GPA for my last semester. Yeah, it’s an okay score but it still pisses me off, just because I was so close yet so far. ARGH. KEEL, KEEL, KEEEEEL!
2. I spent Sunday afternoon on a horse ranch in Shah Alam and bounced most of the day away on a trampoline worked very hard.
3. I can’t skip anymore Malaysian Studies classes because I got a letter saying so D:
4. Oh, UNIQLO is opening about a week from now! And I already have 100MYR worth of vouchers. AWESOME SAUCE.
5. My group’s photography assignment kinda kicks assss (I think).
6. Ze German dude is gonna be lepak-ing with me most of Thursday.
7. I don’t know what to wear for the halloween thingy on Thursday.
8. I don’t know if ze German dude is gonna dress up for Thursday.
9. By the way, Gluek & Gluek is a reference to today’s sociology class.
10. Though I wasn’t so thrilled at first, I’m really glad I have had a good group to work with for Sociology.
11. I can’t wait for this year to end so I can resume performing :(
12. I am running out of random things to write.

Yeah, okay so the tenth point kinda sums it all up. I’m waiting for Dexter to load now. And I wanna vent some more actually, but I really don’t think this is the place. No one wants to hear anymore complaining for today, I guess. Hmm.

Ok, that’s my cue to leave. byebye.

Get this off your chest.

Gaaah. I feel super sucky.

Have you ever had that sudden realisation that you've been taking too much for granted and you've not been doing enough? Yeah. I feel like that. With my friends (Or the very few people who tolerate me).

I don’t know. I think I've been selfish. And I don't think I've done as much for them as they've done for me. Especially this year. Like, I think I've been trying to juggle everything and it's all come toppling down now with Joyee, Azelia, the girls at college, everyone.

It's just hitting me now that because I've been having to do a lot of discovering and adapting this year, I think I haven’t done anything for them. As in even just really listening to their problems. Or just being there you know.

I feel quite disgusted with my lifestyle.

I just don’t think I’m taking any interest in what’s happening in their lives. No, wait, no, that’s not what I meant. It’s more like I don’t think I’ve been actively and completely there for them. I’m interested of course, I mean, jeez I care for these people. I guess I just haven’t been making the extra effort to be there with them through stuff.

I mean, everyone is growing up and each of them is going through this transformation, just like me. Transitioning from one period of their life to the other and things are constantly happening and I feel now like I’m missing out on all of it. And that fucking kills me because I realise that they’ve helped me deal with my shit and all through that, they had things to sort out too and here I am not reciprocating.

Fuck. Fuck. I really feel like most self-centered person ever.

Oh my God I never thought I was so out of it. This is what you get for trying to do everything; you end up giving 20% to the people who’ve stuck with you instead of your hundred. And then you’re gonna realise at the end of it that you don’t have anyone to go to because while you were busy using your balance 80% on everything else, your friends found that they don’t really need you anymore because it was all ‘take’ on your part.

I am going to change my ways. The world does not revolve around me and my friends deserve a hell of a lot more than I’ve been giving them.

Mood: All over the place in a good way.

Warning: This post might get very cheesy ‘cause it’s all about friendship.

Okay, so how do I say this? Ummm. As crazy as this sounds I actually kinda miss you? Not “miss you” miss you. It’s just… err, I miss you. It’s not been very long, but I miss talking. And miss poking fun at you. Miss pretending to know oodles more than you do. I kinda just miss hanging around you. I mean, you’re really fun.

Hmmm. It’s weird how quickly we move on when we’re happy. When I was feeling like crap, it made me kinda pine wish you were here even more. But now that my life is heading rather well, I find that I need you less and it all just seems less intense.

Ok, I sound like I was using you. That’s not true.

I guess, you were good to me and you cheered me up and you kinda gave me this little bit of hope? You (partly) got me to this little happy place I’ve constructed around myself. And don’t get me wrong; just because I realise don’t need you as much now, doesn’t mean I’m cutting you off. I’m just musing.

I miss you, but not in the way I did earlier, as in before this happy place of mine came about. Now, it’s a more familiar kind of miss.

Ugggghh, I don’t think I’m making sense. I know I rarely do anyways, but it’s super clear in this post that I’m kinda talking out of my ass right now.

Heh, and because of SpellCheck, it’s also super clear that I’ve used the word “kinda” waaaaaaaayy too many times already.

Basically, what I’m trying to say here, is I miss you and you’ve done me a big favor without even realising. So, thank you and I can’t wait to see where this goes next.
I think it’s gonna be one helluva ride.

:)

Tonight, I must go to sleep by 12am.

So I dragged my ass over to Liveshocks at Alex’s place ‘cause I’d submitted a script this time around. YEAY FOR FIRST TIMERS!

I was soooo worried about what people would think about my script and all, because I don’t really write much? As in plays and scripts and all that. I’ve written ONE ten minute piece for Sweatshop earlier and that’s about it. My previous work for high school plays don’t count because… well, they’re in bloody high school play format.

Anyway, so I was freaking out at first but then I was like, “Hmmm, it’s not all bad because it’s just the five of us this time”. 15 minutes into the session, BOOM; Banun, Jit and their friend Ika waltz in. I was happy to see them, ‘cause it felt like quite a bit since we hung out, but then I freaked out again about my script actually being read D:

My script was suppose to round up the night, but because Jit and ze gang needed to leave early, Alex decided to push my script one slot forward. By that point, I was already contemplating strangling myself with my shawl or something.

Alex and Banun played the two characters in my script. It got some laughs here and there, and all the while I was gritting my teeth ‘cause I really was so super nervous. It turned out in the end that the table enjoyed it and it wasn’t a complete phailure. I felt so good after getting the thing done and over with and I’m thinking maybe I’ll take their advice and expand on it a bit more. SO WHEEEEEE, IT WAS A GOOOOD NIGHT :)

And that was Sunday. And that is not the reason I am so exhausted right now.

Earlier today, at like friggin’ 8am, I got myself to college for this Rough Cuts workshop by Primeworks. To be honest, I didn’t exactly know what was in store and what the workshop would be all about. The actual thing only got started at around 9.45am. Turns out, it was this idea generation guide and it also aimed to teach us a bit about preparing media content and pitching and all that jazz.

It was a lot of  brainstorming and discussing and plotting and it actually was a lot of fun. The thing is, they kept chucking sweets at us to keep us awake, but all the Mentos and Cola sweets gave me this really bad buzz! I had such a bad sugar rush; I could my energy just flying about everywhere! It kinda helped with the brainstorming bit because my brain just kept expelling words anywhere possible. But later, when it got down to producing slides and sorting out presentation, my rush kinda died off and I was left with this zombie-like feeling. Everything just crashed and I think I got a litttttle pissy irritable.

So then we hastily put together our Power Point presentation and decided that we’d go up first this time to pitch. We were having some problems hooking up the laptop to the projector and all. And while all that was going on, my lecturers just started popping up in the audience. Miss Jo was there, Michael Choong, Su. I was like, GREAT. OMG THANK YOU, REALLY. AS IF I NEEDED ANYMORE PRESSURE.

After we got our Power Point to actually work, we began our pitch. I did most of the talking, ‘cause I didn’t really help much with the slides seeing as I am that noobular. But I have to say that the team did a great job managing the whole thing. All I did was verbalise their work and it paid off, ‘cause in the end we were nominated as the group with the best presentation pitch. It was really great, ‘cause we managed to at least make our mark somewhere :) I feel like a champion, even though it’s a very small win. If you want to call it a win at all, that is.

So yeah, that’s basically the highlights of the past two days. I’m really dead tired right now and my brain just refuses to do anymore work for today. I guess it’s been very well. And this week is set to be better, hopefully. Major lepak session on Thursday and hopefully Saturday as well. Plus, our photoshoot is on Friday is gonna be AMAZING.

And I finally feel like I’ve got a grip on things.

This feels awesome.

Goodnight.

Of Hot Boys and Deprivation.

I was on tumblr like around 10 seconds ago when it hit me that I had been liking and reblogging quite a few photos of hot boys. Not pornography, just photos of really cute/hot/adorable/doable boys. I wonder if it’s got anything to do with the mind games real boys have been playing on me.

The thing is it’s kinda stupid, ‘cause I’m not as deprived of eye candy now as much as I was a few months back. So why the sudden rush? Hmm. Either that, or because there is so much to gawk at, my mind goes berserk and starts to itch. You know, itch. And because there is no other solution, everytime the itch comes about, my mind sends me these urges to take note of photos of really cute/hot/adorable/doable boys.

This must not go on for I am starting to sound like a sleaze bag :S.

What was the term to describe my current pining state again?

Ah, yes.

Blue-ballin’.

 

**Btw, our moment is overdue. Really.

Meeting an (old?) friend.

It’s like nothing had changed between us. We haven’t been speaking regularly, we haven’t seen each other in friggin’ months. But during that 70minute phone call, it felt like we’d never been apart. Fuck lah. I miss Azelia.

I’m all emo now and I don’t know why. I miss the talks. I miss the laughs. I miss having someone who gets me. I miss talking about boys and comparing how shitty our situations are. I miss all the stupid profound statements we came up with that didn’t make sense to anyone but us (and sometimes, Sacha).

Its so stupid. Why am I tearing up? Its not like she’s a million miles away. Maybe I’m just rediscovering how much I looooove her…and her hair. We were so friggin’ close, once upon a time in that dark shoebox we called high school.

Fuck laaah. I miss Azelia :(

To fix what is broken.

I think I will not get over this no matter how many times I cry about it, write about it, talk about it or try to forget about it. We learned about Master Statuses in sociology class today. I don’t want this to be my master status, but so much time has gone past and still it dictates the way I live. It is hidden in the recesses of my mind, the thoughts of the few who know about it and the things I do.

I shall not bring it into the open for the world to gawk at; sympathy is not what I am looking for. Neither shall I expose this deed to defame the person at fault, because revenge isn’t quite what I am looking for either. What do I want then, I ask myself again and again. Do I want an apology? Do I want justification? Do I want a shoulder to cry on? Do I want to forget?

Yes, perhaps I aim to forget. To put all this behind me. But that is all in due time, and as I have tried again and again to erase it from my memory, it creeps up time and time again only to remind me that my past cannot be outrun. So forgetting is a plan but alas, I doubt it is possible at this time in point when I am still questioning why I was put through such a thing.

Closure? Yes, closure would be nice. Maybe if I could understand why, it would out my mind at ease. The questions that often crop up with closure: Why me? Why then? The stupid part about this is then a little voice in my head replies: Why not?

And to that, I can’t think of an answer. Why not? There is nothing to say that I am immune to pain, so why not me? It does not help my case and so closure maybe isn’t the right thing for me, not just yet.

I don’t think there is a specific way to go about this issue. I wish there was a handbook, but the situation isn’t simple math. I want to live without this weight slowing me down and halting me from exploring. I am tired, so tired, of the flashbacks and guilty jabs. I wish I could forget, but if that won’t happen, at least let me learn to live knowing that this disability doesn’t own me.

I wish my safe place didn’t feel so far away. And I wish I could purge the knowledge of what was done from my stream of consciousness.

If only it was easy to pretend that this had never happened.

Hooked.

Saying no is so friggin’ hard. Why? Because I’m sissy like that.

This semi self-imposed performing hiatus is killing me! I mean, I’ve become so used to the hectic lifestyle of rushing from home to college to KLPac, that now it feels very unnatural to be at home so much. And that is probably why my savings account has been steadily dwindling, because I go out and spend spend instead of staying at home and feeling miserable. But I made my dad a promise (ish) and I want to do theater for a long long time, so maybe it’s best to keep him happy first?

And if I’m looking on the bright side of this brief break, at least I have time to get myself more involved with college things. And I have more time to freak out with my girls. So that’s all good and one way to look at it.

But omg, I miss it so :( And last weekend’s Mukabuku didn’t count as a proper production since it was a rushed three days of refreshing and rediscovering.

Am I making sense? Hmm, I don’t think I am :s

Anyway, I think I should go get ready for college now. PR, don’t I love it!

 

Oh fuck. I haven’t sorted out my group’s campaign thingy completely yet. fuckiddy, fuck fuck.

The trumpets roar.

I feel victorious. Take that assignment, POW POW!
Yeah, I’m too ninja for you now!

So, I can finally say that my theater break thingy has been an epic fail. But I promise myself I SHAN’T GET INVOLVED IN ANY ONSTAGE/BACKSTAGE WORK FOR THE REST OF THIS YEAR. I will still do front of house for Short and Sweet 2010 off and on, but that’s about it. No more stage managing and no more performing until January next year. PROMISE.

Yes, promises are meant to be broken and all that jazz, but no. Not this time. I am going to stick to this one.

REALLY!

Ok, so I’m seriously exhausted right now. Was out of the house by 11am. Left for Bump-in at The Actor’s Studio @ Lot 10. Performed at 7.30pm ish. Bumped out. Headed for yummy Chinese hawker food with the rest of the cast and crew of Mukabuku then got dropped home by Ivan slightly before midnight.

Then hopped straight into assignment mode and nailed Illustrator, Photoshop and InDesign to friggin’ kingdom come! I might still fail though ‘cause seriously, my end product is a real heap of phail. 8 pages worth of PHAIL. But it’s all good. At least I did it!…Right?

Gah, fuck this. I’m going to hit the hay. Proper post when I find time to breathe.

Oh, oh, oh and my teddy Mr Fuzzbucket might have a girlfriend soon. HEEEHEEE. Play date!

Oh, oh, oh and I guess all in all, 10/10/10 was good to me :)

Cath… – Death Cab For Cutie

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

I’m so broken. haven't you all had your fun already? when will this all stop?

STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP PLEASE STOP.

I cannot take this anymore.

Soon everybody will ask what became of you;
Your heart was dying fast and you didn't know what to do.

This, I know, is inevitable.

Jokes aside.

You see. You try to hold it in. Because everyone is having such a good time. You fake that voice, you fake those words and you swallow those hits as best as you can. They’re having a good time and despite you knowing its at your expense, you bear with it because you think they’ll have the decency to cut it off soon. And it’s not like you haven’t told them how insecure you are when it comes to these things.

You grit your teeth and you wait and they are still saying the same old things. You can only take so much for the fucking team before you realise you don’t want to be here and that the conversation just isn’t fun anymore. You wait for someone to back you up. No one does, so you suppress everything, thinking you’ll be able to keep it in and last the night.

Then you realise you cannot swallow those insults anymore and everything just tumbles out. You start getting mad. As soon as that first word of defiance hits the air, you just explode. Word after word. And after all that anger, you’re left with nothing but that feeling of helplessness you are oh so accustomed to.

Fuck it all. If you don’t start pulling away, you’d be a fool.

Perhaps this is payback.

Relapse: The Belinda Hon Story. *A note on Facebook!

Based on her own (award-winning?) autobiographical anthology Life Unplugged, Relapse: The Belinda Hon Story traces the rise and fall (and rise again, and then fall one more time and then finally rise?) of one of the 21st-centuries most complex and enduring figures: Belinda Hon. From her early discovery by a Malaysian playwright laureate, to her rise to fame and her eventual struggle with emotional manic-ness and unrequited love, Relapse traces Hon’s life in all its glory, and how she, in equal parts thespian, writer, friend, lover, and mental case, overcame all odds to become one of the world’s most prominent leading ladies. It is a tale of life, love, laughter and the occasional bout of madness.

CRITIC’S SAY:“Winslet gives the performance of her career!” – Peter Travers, Rolling Stone“Brilliant… A truly vivid journey through a remarkable life…” – A. O. Scott, The New York Times “It is a window into the soul of one of this generations most fascinating figures, and we share in her happiness, her passion, her sadness and madness, and, when it is all over, we come out seeing the world anew. Miraculous.” – Robert Ebert, Chicago Sun Times

Directed by Clint Eastwood and produced by Martin Scorsese with a stellar cast.

STARRING:

Kate Winslet as Belinda Hon

Albert Finney as Joe Hasham

Vanessa Redgrave as Faridah Merican

Kevin Spacey as Christopher Ling

Jane Lynch as Nicole Ann Thomas

Eddie Izzard as Alex Chua

Philip Seymour Hoffman as Qahar Aqilah

Ethan Hawke as Mark Beau De Silva

Missy Eliot as Elvira Arul

Steve Buscemi as Robert "Lowbat" Halim

Nicole Kidman as Alexis Wong

Isla Fischer as Banun Atina

Kristin Chenoweth as Ashley Tan

Queen Latifah as Shobana Murugiah

Hilary Swank (during her Boys Don't Cry days) as Shane Capri

Ashton Kutcher as Ivan Chan

Seth Green as Calvin Tan

Bill Hader as Jit Yang

Rupert Grint as Gregory Sze

Rajnikanth as Dinesh Kunasekar

John Leguizamo as Rakesh Kumar

Michael Cera as Nabil Zakaria

Jack Black as Johann Oh

Mark Wahlberg as Yusuf Amin

AND

Christopher Walken as Vincent Lai as Christopher Walken!

**

Casting by Vincent Lai and Belinda Hon.

Special thanks to Vincent Lai for concept, synopsis and input.

‘Indie’ and ‘Bimbo’ but not quite ‘Emo’.

I am happy. Very. I guess I’m enjoying the ride. It might be short lived in the end, but fuck that. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it okay. I’m inching forward and though the pace is slow, the scenic route isn’t exactly a bad choice. I’m taking my time and adapting to these new circumstances fairly well. The past remains in the past and it’s turning out fine and dandy. I hope this string of good days and charming smiles continue!

Anyways, I spent another day with Ramin today. :)
I have to say, he’s cool, but I’m fuckin’ amazing! HAHAHAHA We went to what we thought was a photography exhibition but turned out to be more of a photo manipulation thingy. Either way, very cool! Went back to my place, printed out some of his AFS stuff, then brought him to eat his first Ramli burger for dinner. Lepak-ed right outside a 7eleven for about half an hour then got him a cab and I went home. Basically, pretty unextraordinary.

We didn’t do much and yet I am so fucking tired. I wanna just collapse and I wish I didn’t have class tomorrow. It’s got nothing to do with the subject or anything, I’m just reaaaaaaaaaaally friggin’ lazy for the 3pm class.

A good end to September, but a not-so great start to October.

I’m currently very sick but at least its got nothing to do with my heart.

I had a really good day yesterday, despite already being slightly unwell. Went for class in the morning and it went well. Lecturer asked us to come up with a Durex Condom Awareness campaign. IT WAS SOOOOOO MUCH FUN! I now really hope they organise a Condom Party!

After that, chilled with the girls at Tappers for a bit before heading off to meet Ramin at KLCC. So happy he was punctual (the guys I go out with usually never are)! We had lunch at Nando’s and used up those coupons he won during the Crossings premiere. He paid for the drinks then we were off to watch Wall Street 2.

Wall Street 2, to me, was okay okay only. I understood the main plot and all that, but it frustrated me a teeny weeny bit that I didn’t understand the business lingo they were using. I think Carey Mulligan was stunning in that movie and I have a little girl crush on her now. So amaaazing.

We chilled at Starbucks after the movie till about 6.30pm then decided we’d better get on the train back to JayaOne for my college’s open mic session @ The Bee. To be quite honest, I was worried Ramin would feel out of place around my group of friends, because we’re all a little girly girly mental. HAHAHAHA I think having Shayne Especkerman at the table helped loosen him up a bit. Oh and I’ve deduced that Shayne is in LOOOOOOOVE with my boobs. HAHAHAHA

AND! I bumped into Syat @ The Bee too, so that was fun!

Ramin and I spent about an hour or so at the table with the rest, then Rathika told me to bring him around, so I did. We walked around JayaOne for a bit, sat down and talked. Got up, walked some more, then found somewhere new to chill and talk. We were just roaming around basically but it was nice.

Got back to the group, talked laugh, demonstrated spanking and yeah, a lot of things that should not be mentioned here. *clears throat*

We left about 10.30pm, got a cab to the train station. I broke my pinky fingernail (and it hurt like a fucking bitch) and because I can’t stand the sight of blood and I didn’t have any tissue on me, I had to just bear with it.

Anyway, nothing special happened or whatever. But it really was a very goodnight. As I was waiting for a cab to pick me up from the Sentul LRT, I couldn’t help thinking that today was perhaps one of my happier days of the year. Good company, what can I say!

Really.

PS:
I love Rathika, Kate and Fatima.

Really :)