Okay. You know you’ve got self-esteem issues when someone you trust dearly tells you you’re beautiful and the first thing that comes to your mind is “Damnit, bitch; stop the sarcasm.”
Yeah, as ugly as that sounds, it’s rather true. I’m guilty of reacting that way. It’s not like I’m friggin’ Doutzen Kroes, but I’m no Wicked Witch of the West either and I know this already. Yet, whenever I am praised for my looks, immediately I deduce that the comment was laced with sarcasm, though deep down I know it’s just me exaggerating and being all insecure. It’s as if I’ve somewhat convinced myself that I am less than mediocre and anyone who says otherwise means to put me down or intended the “compliment” as a snide remark.
Vanity is so tiring. You try and you try to look your best, but then when it all boils down to it, you can never be happy with the way you are.
I wish I wasn’t so insecure and I wish my confidence wasn’t so down in the dumps. I mean, I should stop fretting so much and stop over-analysing comments about my appearance because really, this is NOT healthy.
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